A strange title for something very simple. Love, Labor and Lonely.
I have found love in many places and in many ways.. I Love my moms cooking, shes the best out there.. and I cant say that enough.. but this is not about what or whom I end up loving more than other..
Since the time I was a kid, I used to be the watchman of the house..my mom and sister wanted to go out for shopping.. i used to either watch tv or fall asleep.. only thing I remember is waking up after few hours..and my mom and sister screaming outside for me to open the door.. I preferred staying at home and just being myself... I don’t regret it.. i prefered it.. I feel nice when alone.. not disturbed.. or may be.. I have always been alone that’s why I have come to like it.. ?? Some things I don’t have an answer to.. One might mistake saying I love being alone.. not lonely.. coz I have loads of friends to be with.. many people around me to share and talk with.. but it aint the same.. I am prefer being lonely in a group where I can be alone with my thoughts. It gives me room to think.
When I meet new people.. they call me silent.. others call me arrogant.. the rest who are left call me rude.. I dont start talking to them so easily.. I have also earned the award of “The Most silent guy in the class” by my collagues, today apprantely.. I earned another title of ,” Finishes everything in 2 to 3 sentences.” I don’t find anything wrong in it.. I prefer staying silent instead of talking about the tamil girl who doesn’t know the significance of Comments in a program , even though I belong to the same group.I don’t mind standing in the side inbetween my group of friends and still be alone..
When I get into a fight with someone.. I prefer staying quite.. its not that I don’t want to say anything.. I can actually say loads of things.. dig the grave up if you want.. but it is said that the biggest blunders are made when you open your mouth in anger.. I prefer something golden.. Silence.. “Silence can speak a 1000 words.” so I have come to love silence..
I had never thought I would leave home and go away for sometime for work (henceforth reffered as Labor), it was a different thought.. seemed like a tough thing to work out with. It is said in Manusmṛti, that a man stays away from home to have an education, then later moves into household life where he needs to take care of his family..the staying away from home makes you stronger, wiser.. in a way .. my company did the going away from home part for me.. I believe.. I have changed.. my thinking about many aspects of living has got a different approach. Doing all this staying alone.
In the 1st week I remember two people clearly , one said,” its time. You should get things together, when you get back you got to be independent .“ and the other chuckled and said,” it happens you got to learn it” Things have changed.. living alone.. doing things on my own, being responsible about food, health and every minor things seems like a scary thought.. but it isnt anymore.
A few days earlier, a senior colleague told this,” why do you think the company calls you away from home town?”, “why do you think it makes you wait here for 9.5 hrs daily?” after a pause he answered,” they call you far away, so that you adapt, learn to be alone.. when you are sent abroad.. you know how to take care of yourself.” “the 9.5 hrs is so that once you get into a project and might have to go for 11 hours .. you wont mind the extra hours” then he said,” why do you think the company is spending so much to provide free beverages in every floor?” .. he answered ,” coz you wont get distracted, they give you comfort.. A/c ,proper seats and beverages so that these are not the issues you should bother about” The only thing from the whole day that I remember was this..these three questions and the answers which he gave. Might not be that important, but they hold the key.
Now the love for labor has begun, I can sense it.i remember during college I used to call going to the nearby store as work,or drawing graphs or creating a image for an event as work.. it was labor in some means.. but now the Toiling has begun.. its still premature.. but the clouds of what I want to achieve are growing… lets see how much I end up loving or hating it.
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